A new adventure

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Dear Baby,

I have ‘known’ for a few days now that I thought I was pregnant, but today I took an at home test.

Pregnant.

I can describe my feelings reading the results of the test in one word, terrified. I am 26 years old, the same age that my mother was when she conceived your Uncle Matt. Yet, I feel like a child. And my mom is the one person that I am scared to tell.

Your dad could not be more excited. He is already kissing my belly and trying to tell me not to lift anything too heavy. He has wanted you his whole life.

I’ve already told a few people. After your dad I told your Grandma Adams. We had returned from church last week and I broke down in tears. I know she wanted to scream she was so excited, but contained herself for my sake. I called her today after I took the pregnancy test. I could hear her smiling.

Next, I told my best friend, or as you will know her, Aunt Jen. We grew up together and have always been best friends, the once in a lifetime type. She helps me through everything, and this is no different. No matter what happens in your life, she is someone that you can count on.

Yesterday, out of pure circumstance, I told my friend Jessica B. We have not been friends but a few years, but she cannot have her own children, and I knew she would enjoy hearing that she’ll get to watch you grow up.

So, today, I took a test… pregnant. I’m terrified. Your dad… thrilled. And that is probably how you will know us your entire life. Your mother is always worried, safe, thinking things thru, usually too much. Your dad is a thrill seeker, loves life, and takes things as they come with no fear.

Baby, whoever you are, I do love you. Don’t ever doubt that. I just want to be everything to you, and I don’t know how.

I’m not sure when I will tell your Grandma and Grandpa Holdsworth. I don’t really know how to tell them. I know that they will worry about me, worry about you, and I am doing enough of that on my own. As for your Uncle Matt, I’m sure as soon as I tell him, he will start buying you gifts. He will be a great Uncle, just as he has always been a great big brother. We plan on telling your dads family on Sunday, June 20th. They are all coming in for your Cousin Jon’s 20th surprise birthday party. I can’t wait to see their faces.

I can’t wait to see yours.

Love,
Mommy



current weight: 118 lbs.