Thursday, June 24, 2010

a new week

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Dear Baby,

Well, I told my parents about you. On Tuesday I had planned to make the drive up there so that I could tell them in person, but by the time I was done with work, I was too sick to drive. So, I made the call.

I have to say, it went much better than I thought it was going to. My mom seemed excited. She said she had a feeling that you would be coming soon. I told her that I was glad one of us had that feeling. I know that the closer it gets to the day that you are here, the more excited she and my dad will be. You, baby, will be their first grandchild.

I made my first doctor’s appointment this week also. It’s at Cheat Lake Physicians on Thursday, July the first. I’m nervous and excited about it. I’m not sure how far along I am, so that will be exciting to learn. I’m hoping that they will do a sonogram so that I can see you for the first time. But, honestly, I do not know what they will do at this appointment. I’m still trying to learn about this whole pregnancy process.

So far you have not been making my stomach feel too good. I usually feel ok until I try to eat. Also, after work, I always feel horrible. I do not know if it’s working in the heat all day, or if it’s just another natural part of being pregnant. It is probably a combination of both.

On Saturday, your dad and I are going to your cousin Nikkys’ wedding. It should be fun (even without the alcohol). All of your dads family will be there and we will get to tell more people about your existence.

My belly is getting so big already! You must be growing! My pants will not fit any longer. I can put them on but I cannot button them! Your Grandma Adams called today and said she bought me some maternity clothes from a yard sale that one of your Uncle Tim’s friends was having. I can’t wait to have clothes that are comfortable to wear!

I talked to your cousin Miranda today. She wants to have a baby so bad! But, her and her husband Brian are waiting at least another year. She will love and adore you! I think she will be more of an Aunt to you than a cousin. She is more of a friend to me than a niece.

One thing I am learning from this process is to never doubt your mothers love, even when its hard to believe someone that can fight with so much and despise at times. Because a mother goes through so many changes, so much sickness, so many questions… all during the nine months that she carries you. All of this she goes through and deals with and keeps taking the next step forward for you, the baby. Because a mothers’ love... well that starts on day one.

The day she reads ‘pregnant’ on a stick.



Current weight: 121 lbs

Sunday, June 20, 2010

the surprise

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dear Baby,

Today we had your dads’ entire family over to celebrate your cousin Jon’s birthday. Your uncle Matt came down too. (Late, but he still made it in time for cake.)

Jon came in the house and was so surprised to see everyone here for his birthday. He had no idea! We cooked on the grill (and by we, I mean your dad… because as you will soon find out, I can’t boil water.) We had a good time. Jon received a lot of good presents. I think his favorite though was his bow that his dad got him.

As soon as your Uncle Matt got here, he asked me if I wanted everyone here so that I could tell them that I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe that he guessed! But, I lied to him, made him wait to hear the news until later.

After cake and presents, I handed out gift bags to all of your Aunts, Uncles, and Grandma and Grandpa Adams. Inside was a candle that had a “baby” scent and a baby outfit, with a note that said “we have been keeping a secret from you, we are having a baby!”

Baby, they were so excited to hear about you!!! I immediately received hugs and congratulations! Seeing them so happy made me happy.

I still have to tell my parents. Your Uncle Matt told me that I was being silly about the whole thing and that they will be very excited. I hope he is right. I am going to go up there this week to tell them.

I haven’t gone to the doctor yet. Your Aunt Amy is going to find out who a good doctor in town is and call me tomorrow with the name. I don’t know how long it takes to get to see a photo of you, or how long before we can find out your sex…. But those are the two things I am so excited for!

As for now, we have a lot of planning, a lot of saving, and a lot of everything to do. I do not know anything about having a baby. But, it’s going to be a fun learning process. And, today, I learned that I will not be alone during this process… I’ll have a ton of support from your dads’ family and from your Uncle Matt.

So far we’ve come up with a boy’s name. Burke Matthew. Burke is after your Great Grandpa Walker Burke. Matthew is after your Uncle Matt. As for a girl, we like the name Elsie. We came up with this by combining your Grandmothers names together. Elva and Nancy = Elsie. And I like the middle name Lee (that’s mine and bother of your Grandfathers middle name). But, we will just have to wait and see who you are going to be. I know it will be someone great!



Current weight: 121 lbs

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A new adventure

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Dear Baby,

I have ‘known’ for a few days now that I thought I was pregnant, but today I took an at home test.


I can describe my feelings reading the results of the test in one word, terrified. I am 26 years old, the same age that my mother was when she conceived your Uncle Matt. Yet, I feel like a child. And my mom is the one person that I am scared to tell.

Your dad could not be more excited. He is already kissing my belly and trying to tell me not to lift anything too heavy. He has wanted you his whole life.

I’ve already told a few people. After your dad I told your Grandma Adams. We had returned from church last week and I broke down in tears. I know she wanted to scream she was so excited, but contained herself for my sake. I called her today after I took the pregnancy test. I could hear her smiling.

Next, I told my best friend, or as you will know her, Aunt Jen. We grew up together and have always been best friends, the once in a lifetime type. She helps me through everything, and this is no different. No matter what happens in your life, she is someone that you can count on.

Yesterday, out of pure circumstance, I told my friend Jessica B. We have not been friends but a few years, but she cannot have her own children, and I knew she would enjoy hearing that she’ll get to watch you grow up.

So, today, I took a test… pregnant. I’m terrified. Your dad… thrilled. And that is probably how you will know us your entire life. Your mother is always worried, safe, thinking things thru, usually too much. Your dad is a thrill seeker, loves life, and takes things as they come with no fear.

Baby, whoever you are, I do love you. Don’t ever doubt that. I just want to be everything to you, and I don’t know how.

I’m not sure when I will tell your Grandma and Grandpa Holdsworth. I don’t really know how to tell them. I know that they will worry about me, worry about you, and I am doing enough of that on my own. As for your Uncle Matt, I’m sure as soon as I tell him, he will start buying you gifts. He will be a great Uncle, just as he has always been a great big brother. We plan on telling your dads family on Sunday, June 20th. They are all coming in for your Cousin Jon’s 20th surprise birthday party. I can’t wait to see their faces.

I can’t wait to see yours.


current weight: 118 lbs.