Tuesday, October 26, 2010

so much has happened

Sunday, October 24, 2010
Dear Baby,
                So much has happened since the last time I wrote to you.  I do not know why it has been so long, but I believe it is because I feel you move all the time now so I just speak to you at those moments.
                But, I need to catch you up on all that has happened. 
                On Thursday, September 16th, your dad and I lay in bed and he had his head on my belly.  We were talking and laughing about life when he told me that he could hear you moving around in my belly.  I told him that he was crazy and making things up.  But as soon as he lifted his head… you kicked.  And, you kicked exactly where he was laying!  I just said ‘whoa!’ and your dad said ‘I told you that I heard the baby moving!”.  I grabbed his hand and placed it on my belly and immediately you kicked again.  So, that night, for the first time… your dad and I both got to feel you move.  It was a moment in my life that I will never forget.
The following Sunday, my best friend Jen traveled two hours to visit with us.  Needless to say, your dad and her had a ‘little’ too much to drink that night.  But, it was entertaining for me!  They both talked about how excited they were about you.  Jen lay beside me and talked to you for about an hour.  She gave you advice and told you that she would prefer to be called Aunt Jenny instead of Aunt Jen. 
                The next day, September 20th, your Grandma Adams met Jen, your dad, and myself at our house and we drove a very long 20 minutes to the doctor’s office.  It was a long 20 minutes because at this appointment they would do an ultrasound that would tell us if you were a little boy or a little girl.  But before that ultrasound I had to drink 32 oz of water and hold it!  I was miserable!  And your dad drove, so of course he hit every pothole! 
                The ultrasound was very exciting! The technician looked you over from head to toe.  She made sure everything looked exactly the way it should… and then… with all four of us about to burst at the seams from excitement…. She finally told us that you were a ….. GIRL!
                I immediately looked to your father, who has only ever talked about having a little boy, and he just smiled.  I told him that he could still take you fishing with him and he would have to buy you a little pink fishing pole.  He just said, ‘I will buy her a pole and take her fishing…. But I will not buy her a pink pole.’  Ha… we will see.  I know he is going to be wrapped around your little finger.  Heck, he already is.
Your dad and I struggle every day with our financial situation.  No one is to blame about the situation that we are in except ourselves, but we have to find a way out.  After finding out that you are going to be a little girl, your dad picked up a second job.  He now works a midnight shift, 10:30 pm to 7 am, Saturday thru Wednesday.  When he gets home from work, he goes up to his shop and works on his own business till about 2 in the afternoon.  He then sleeps until 9 pm, and does it again.  I have never seen your dad work so hard, grow up so fast, or sacrifice so much.  He is a strong, brave, loving man.             
                Recently, you are moving more and more.  Your movements are so strong that we can see you move.  I think that you sleep most of the day while I drive for work, and when I get home and settle in for the night you wake up.  Your strongest movements are from about 8 pm to 10 pm. 
                I had another doctor’s appointment on October 18th.  Everything went smoothly and I got to hear your heart beat again!  It was 140 bpm.
                So far I have a love/hate relationship with pregnancy.  I love hearing your heart beat, feeling you move, seeing you move thru my belly, and seeing you on the ultrasound screen.  But, I hate feeling tired all day every day, having trouble bending over, getting comfortable in bed, getting comfortable in general, feeling ‘fat’ all of the time, not being able to shave my legs, being hungry all the time, and I miss being able to see my feet!  But, I have a feeling that this is all going to be worth it when I get to hold you for the first time.
After long discussions and debates, we decided to name you Bryson Lee Adams.  Bryson was my paternal grandmother’s maiden name.  Her name was Margaret Bryson before she married my grandfather Stanley Holdsworth.  Lee is not only my middle name but also both of your grandfather’s middle names.  So, there is a lot of history in your name.  And… a lot of love.
                On Saturday, October 30th, we are having your baby shower!  I am so excited to see everyone and to get started on getting all of the things that you will need once you make your grand arrival into our world. 
                Bryson, I love you.  We all do.  You have already changed our world for the better.